Jokes

The summer sun is not merciful here in Hong Kong; I am running away for three weeks.

Going to three countries where hopefully, in one of them I can practice my hopeless Italian. For the other two, I am going to use sign language.

I have been reading some jokes about these countries as the starter of my journey.

Belgium:

How do you drive a Belgian crazy?

Lock him in a circular room and tell him there's frites at the next corner.

Germany:

Do you know why Germans build such high-quality products?

So they won't have to go around being nice while they fix them.

Italy:

How do you shut up an Italian?

Tie their hands behind their backs.

I hope they didn't offend you, but made you laugh...but just to be fair, here is a Chinese one:

Why would the world have been a better place if Adam and Eve were Chinese?

Because they would have eaten the snake instead of the apple.

Funny Cantonese Animal Slangs

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about funny animal names. This time, I am quite interested in looking into the Cantonese slang related to animals.

Before I started this post, I was writing down as many slangs as I could think of, and was quite surprised to find out I could came out with at least 10 within 1 minute...

蛇王 (C-sèh-wohng)

Snake King-call a lazy person a Snake King, because a snake likes to curl up its body and rest.

色狼 (C-sīk-lòhng)

Colour Wolf-the equivalent in English is horndog.

In Buddhist terms, "colour" refers to all sort of materialistic things that evoke desires-especially sexual desire.

Wolf symbolises evil and greed (think about the wolf in The Three Little Pigs, also the one in Red Riding Hood)

A Colour Wolf means a person has a greed for sex.

失魂魚 (C-sāt-wàhn-yú)

Terrified fish-call a panic person a terrified fish. We all know how a terrified fish acts like-it turns around and swims away like a flash of lightning.

笑面虎 (C-siu-mihn-fú)

Smile Face Tiger-call a hypocritical person a Smile Face Tiger; usually it is to describe a person who seems to be kind but is actually wicked.

扮豬吃老虎 (C-Baan-jyū-sihk-lóuh-fú)

Disguised as a pig, and eats a tiger-to describe a person plays dumb in order to manipulate other people.

What Made My Day

In the morning, Charlotte, my 8-year-old student, gave me a big hug, followed by a kiss on my face, then she told me,

" Nǐ shì wǒ zuì xǐhuan de lăoshī!"

*你是我最喜欢的老师！

You are my favourite teacher!

And because I am her favourite teacher, I deserved this cute puppy that she got from Ocean Park yesterday, and I was allowed to bring it home.

This is one of my best days in my life :-)

Emilie Story Part II

十一月二十二日 雨


我說明一下。

每晚，我做一樣的夢。

夢裡，我和一個女人在街上一起走路。我不知道她的名字，我不知道她幾歲，但是我認識她。

夢裡，我們常常走路，那條街很長。

那時常常是日落，城裡沒有人，只有我們。

這個女人常常有重要的事要說，不過她從來不說。

然後，我醒來。

不過昨天，在電影院裡，我看見了她，但是她正在離開

最後她不見了。

Funny Animal Names

Like many other languages, Chinese language has many compound words. A compound word is a word that joined by two or more old words.

Many animal names in Chinese are compound words; some people found them strange; some found them quite clever.

Could you guess what animals they are in the below:

袋鼠 （C-doih-syú; M-dàishŭ)

Bag Mouse

壁虎 （C-bik-fú; M-bìhŭ)

Wall Tiger

海象 (C-hói-jeuhng; M-hăixiàng)

Sea Elephant

長頸鹿/长颈鹿 (C-chèuhng-géng-luhk; M-chángjǐnglù)

Long Neck Deer

鴨嘴獸/鸭嘴兽 (C-ngaap-jéui-sau; M-yāzuǐshòu)

Duck Beak Monster

Click on the characters to check the answers!

A poem for (Mandarin) tones lovers

《施氏食獅史》

石室诗士施氏，嗜狮，誓食十狮。
氏时时适市视狮。
十时，适十狮适市。
是时，适施氏适市。
氏视是十狮，恃矢势，使是十狮逝世。
氏拾是十狮尸，适石室。
石室湿，氏使侍拭石室。
石室拭，氏始试食是十狮尸。
食时，始识是十狮，实十石狮尸。
试释是事。

Warning: This piece may damage your vision, and make you sound like a lisper temporary.

« Shī Shì shí shī shǐ »

Shíshì shīshì Shī Shì, shì shī, shì shí shí shī.
Shì shíshí shì shì shì shī.
Shí shí, shì shí shī shì shì.
Shì shí, shì Shī Shì shì shì.
Shì shì shì shí shī, shì shǐ shì, shǐ shì shí shī shìshì.
Shì shí shì shí shī shī, shì shíshì.
Shíshì shī, Shì shǐ shì shì shíshì.
Shíshì shì, Shì shǐ shì shí shì shí shī.
Shí shí, shǐ shí shì shí shī, shí shí shí shī shī.
Shì shì shì shì.

Thank you for your effort, and you deserve the translation:

« Lion-Eating Poet in the Stone Den »

In a stone den was a poet called Shi, who was a lion addict, and had resolved to eat ten.
He often went to the market to look for lions.
At ten o'clock, ten lions had just arrived at the market.
At that time, Shi had just arrived at the market.
He saw those ten lions, and using his trusty arrows, caused the ten lions to die.
He brought the corpses of the ten lions to the stone den.
The stone den was damp. He asked his servants to wipe it.
After the stone den was wiped, he tried to eat those ten lions.
When he ate, he realized that these ten lions were in fact ten stone lion corpses.
Try to explain this matter.

The poem , consists of 92 characters with 1 sound in 4 tones, was written by Chao Yuen Ren, a Chinese American linguist, to against the idea of replacing classical Chinese characters with romanization. The poem is almost impossible to understand by romanization but characters.

I hope you had a good time there.

Emilie's Story Part I

This was originally a piece of holiday homework for Emilie, it later turned out to be a short story!

Part I was written by me, the rest was by Emilie.

Part I

十一月二十一日 雨

我看到她了。

今天我很忙。清晨要開車送太太到機場，她要到倫敦工作五天。然後回家後把車給兒子，今天他要用我的車上班，聽說他有了一個新的女朋友。

我坐出租車回大學，今天我們要和校長開會。那是一個三小時的大會，我們沒有時間說笑，也沒有時間吃飯，今天早上一點也不輕鬆。

晚上回家後兒子不在，我一個人出去吃飯和看電影。我去了中環的IFC看電影，看的是活地阿倫的《遇上陌生情人》。他的電影我都覺得有意思，但是生活更有意思。

然後，我在電影院看到了她。

作文：請用不少於400字完成日記。